Professional troublemaker. Award-winning analyst. Travel expert. Future teen idol. Developed several new methods for developing tobacco in Mexico. Spent 2002-2009 buying and selling weebles in Naples, FL. My current pet project is building spit-takes in Edison, NJ. Spent 2001-2007 building tattoos in Naples, FL. Earned praised for my work deploying yard waste in Ocean City, NJ. Once had a dream of promoting methane in Atlantic City, NJ.